After We Break was formerly published as Playing for Love at Deep Haven.
~ “It is heartbreaking to read the story of their separation, two people who never got over each other no matter the involvements in between…and swooningly, gorgeously romantic to see them working their way back to each other through poem and song.” –Lee Ann Daugherty, Barnes & Noble associate
She was the girl.
The only girl.
The only girl I ever wanted.
The only girl I ever loved.
The only girl I could ever love.
And I killed it.
I destroyed it.
I threw her love away.
For nine years, I’ve kept the memory of her locked in the deepest corner of my heart…all the while hating myself for what I did to her.
Now, without warning, she’s walked back into my life.
I’m covered in tats.
She’s covered in Polo.
I write heavy metal songs.
She writes chick-lit.
My eyes are angry.
Her eyes are sad.
I still long for her with every fiber of my being.
But I have no idea if she feels the same.
I guess it’s time to find out.
After We Break is a standalone novel.
**FAIR WARNING: This book contains scenes of detailed intimacy and liberal use of profanity. It is intended for readers 18+**
“Listen carefully. I’m standing here in front of you, telling you I love you, telling you that I will love you, no matter what, until I die. But I’m also telling you that if you aren’t all in, Vile, this won’t work. I need all of you. Sorry that I’m such a greedy bastard, but I’m not Shep Smalley, and I can’t be with you if your heart doesn’t totally belong to me. I waited too long to hear those words in my life, and I paid a high price for turning them away.
“I know what I want: I want you. There’s no such thing as me loving you until I don’t anymore, because I’ll never stop. I’ll love you forever. But, I want you as much in love with me as I am with you. You need time to be sure? Take it. Figure it out.” He clutched her chin, forcing her to look at him. “But let’s get one thing totally and completely fucking straight, baby. I’m not walking away from you. This is a break, not a breakup. I’m waiting. Do you hear me? I’ll be waiting for you. As long as it fucking takes.”
He tilted his head and crushed her lips with his, holding her brutally close as his tongue found hers and his hands dug into her hair. He poured all his anger and regret, his love and longing, into that kiss, demanding from her, possessive of her, hating like fuck to leave her, acutely and desperately aware that it was the last time he would kiss her for a while, if not forever. And she met him—his beautiful girl, the second half of his soul—stroke for stroke, her fingers flattening and flexing on his chest as she kissed him back. And if kisses were “I love yous,” he’d swear she was saying it with every passing second that he held her in his arms.
But kisses were kisses. Zach needed the words too.
Melancholy intruded and his hands moved from her hair to her cheeks which he held them gently, reverently between his hands as his tongue slid languorously over hers, gently saying good-bye the only way he was able. He finally drew back from her and her lips were puffy and bruised, and he was glad.
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I hate you for this.”
I hate me for this too.
“I hope that changes, Violet. I really, really do.”
After one final look at the woman he loved more than anything else in the world, he turned from her, got in his car, and drove away.